So You Know The 80/20 Rule, huh?

So a friend of mine on Facebook posted a note regarding the 80/20 rule most commonly recognized as a part of Tyler Perry’s AWESOME movie, Why Did I Get Married.

The note was pretty much a verbatim recital of the scene in the film where the rule is explained. While reading the note, I couldn’t help but stop at the first line: “In most relationships you will only get 80% of what you want.”

Doesn’t that sound HORRIBLE?! Why? Who decided that 80% was all that we deserve? But more importantly, what is keeping us from achieving 100%?

I know the answer.

Communication.

As a woman who understands the hard work it takes to make a marriage or relationship work, I couldn’t imagine not giving my future husband 100%.

Let’s be clear, your “wants” are not synthetic. I’m not talking about a man’s desire for blondes and double D’s. I’m talking about personality, flexibility, consideration, strength, and so on.

So how do I know what my husband wants in order to give it to him? He has to tell me.

That is the hardest thing for both men and women to grasp.

For women, rather than tell the individual what you want, you assume that your desires either mimic every “normal” woman and therefore should be pre-programmed or are not as complicated as they really are (probably because you haven’t take the time to consider what you REALLY want) and should be easily learned. In both cases you are wrong.

For men, you either assume that you won’t get what you want anyway so you decide not to ask at all or you truly believe your desires are skin deep and commit to finding women who offer 100% of those “preferences.” In both cases you are wrong.

Now, let’s consider that this very necessary conversation does occur. However, one or both parties is unable to support the other’s wishes…then what?.........Move on.

It may sound like “quitting” to you but I have to argue that we as humans are like clay. We can mold and change ourselves at our own whim (and sometimes the whim of others). I remember I used to change my handwriting almost every school year. I still change my signature often. If you can change habits like those, the ones you do without thinking, I’m prettying sure you can change your personality or your actions if you TRULY want to.

If they don’t make an effort (we always give A’s for effort), move on because that lets you know the other person does not WANT to. If this is a person you’re considering spending the rest of your life with, how can you expect them to grow with you and they won’t even grow FOR you?
I’m a firm believer that you CAN have your cake and eat it too…I still wanna know the idiot who came up with that…he should be slapped. WTF is cake for if not to eat!!

Anyway, I said all of this to say that you don’t have to settle for 80%. Encourage the 80 to increase him/herself to 100. If you have to compromise meet somewhere around 95. However, I will say that you will have a MUCH easier time getting to 100 from 80 as opposed to 20…20 has a LONG LONG way to go. ;)

BTW, MERRY CHRISTMAS, everybody!!

So You're a Punk For Sappy Videos, huh?

I know I should be doing work so this will be short. I simply want you to watch this clip and try not to tear up…I failed.

It’s just so heartwarming and sad at the same time.

I mean…*looks to the ceiling and tucks in lips*…it’s just so beautiful. That little girl loved her daddy, you know. *grabs tissue* She even started crying because she was so happy. *dots the inner corner of my eye with the tissue, holding it there*…I just…*irregular breathing pattern begins*……I mean I……*balling like a SERIOUS punk*……I didn’t have a daddy!!!…*cut to commercial*…

So You Don't Believe In God, huh?

Let’s put it out in the open: I’m a Christian.

However, nothing that I have written in analysis of Atheism is from a “Christian” perspective. Instead, I’m using my critical thinking, English, “Googling” and reasoning skills to make my case. So while this is my opinion, it’s not supported by “beliefs” only…I know some of ya’ll like to jump to conclusions.

So after reading this article at CNN I was a little frustrated with the faulty argument supplied in support of the anti-religion display found in Seattle, Washington. First, however, I had to address the common misrepresentation of the components of Atheism.

Atheism is the rejection of theism. It’s incorrect for people to use the word “Atheist” as an adjective to describe someone’s actions. An “Atheist” is a noun. You ARE an Atheist. Another thing, there’s a difference between being an Atheist and being “anti-religion.” Atheism is who you are, “anti-religion” is what some Atheists do.

I say this to say that the display seen in Seattle which included the statements, “there are no gods, no devil, no angels, no heaven or hell…” is not an effort to promote the ideas of Atheism, as some would try to make you believe. It is the public practice of anti-religious activities. These activities are aimed at Christians, not other Atheists. Its purpose is to disrupt the beliefs of the religious and therefore it’s immoral and malicious.

You can be an Atheist without contesting the beliefs of Theists. That is what I think most people (including many Atheists) don’t understand. It amazes me that so many Atheists define their status by religion, or the lack thereof. If you “are” something, it is not because of what you “are not.” To clarify, you are not a fisherman, because you are not a carpenter. You just ARE a fisherman.

In place of that rude sign, if I were an Atheist, I’d post pro-Atheism statements as opposed to simple anti-Christianity declarations. Example:

“This Holiday Season, I believe in ME!” or

“I, and I alone, control my destiny…shouldn’t you have control of yours?”

With these statements you are more effective in provoking discourse (the alleged goal of the previous sign according to the article) and even interest in the sponsoring organization. My mother always said you catch more bees with honey.

Now, please don’t be the one to result to the “well they do it too” argument…we’re not 9 year olds! You can not justify an action by its popularity or frequency. I’m not upholding Christians. In fact, I have not mentioned Christians for that reason. I have not “failed” to mention the actions of Christians in promoting “anti-Atheist” ideas…that just wasn’t the topic!

Article: http://tinyurl.com/6foqhv

So You Wanna Read My Blog, huh...

First let me begin by saying that it is extremely sad that I’ve used my coveted free time to start a blog as opposed to completing one of the many deadline-approaching tasks on my plate…but that’s just my nature, put off what you can do today until tomorrow…or the wee hours in the morning just before its due. :)

I am a vlogger. However, I couldn’t possibly make a video for EVERY topic that I have an opinion on so such outlets as these allow me to address the minor (IMO) topics while I reserve the “Breaking News” stories for my HP digital camera.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention on boring you with unnecessary stories about cats in trees or the woes of squirrels and their nuts. You can expect, however, to not be interested in the subject matter of one of my posts every now and then…it happens to the best of us.

On to the purpose of this introductory post…I have a few helpful guidelines to assist you in your reading.

-I was an English minor in college so I hope to present you with clear, grammatically correct, and punctuated (I hate when folks don’t use periods) sentences. However, because its conversational writing, I expect you to be able to read this as if a person were speaking…so don’t be surprised if I use a few “made up” words. ;)

-Most of what you read will be my opinion (supported with a few facts or experiences). I’m entitled to it and you can’t take that from me. However, my intention is not to blatantly offend so let me know if I step on your toes a bit.

-If you disagree, agree, or don’t understand, LEAVE A COMMENT. If you don’t really care, don’t leave a comment saying “I don’t care”…not responding at all does the trick.

-Aside from leaving a comment, there are 3 options to select from in order to tell me how you felt about my post.
-“Amen!"– I agree
-“I Can Dig It…” – I understand (may or may not agree)
-“Not So ‘Wright’..” – I disagree
Use them!

-No racism, sexism, homophobia…religiphobia (see first guideline for validation), etc. is tolerated on this blog. Those –phobia’s and –ism’s are the products of hatred and have little to no justification. However all prejudices and generalizations are welcome since they promote discussion. (i.e. “all gay people deserve to die” – unacceptable; “I do not condone homosexuality” – acceptable.)

So now that you’ve accepted the terms and conditions of this agreement…let’s get started.